*the greatest risk is not taking one

*dont believe everything you think

*i've forgotten more than i ever learned

*if all else fails, read the directions

*when you come to the fork in the road, take it

*to save time, let's just agree that i know everything

*follow your dreams, except that one when your in school in your underwear

*to make your prayers come true, you have to get off your knees

*what if the HOKEY POKEY really IS what its all about?

*i'm not as confused as you think i am

*death is nature's way of telling you to slow down

*i just got a dog for my wife. best trade i ever made.

*not all who wonder are lost

*The metal converges...from hand to hand through one and into the other.It shoots though the body like a rabidous wolverine...into the shoulders, down through the spine, into the legs, down to the feet, and then right back up to your ass where it then shoots out and does a 360 spinning completely around your entire body and then reentering through the penis hole...it then procedes to getting shot out your mouth in an insane glorification of color and sound:THIS IS THE EXERCISION OF ROCK AND/OR ROLL!!!
-skinhead and zero

*excuses are like assholes,everybody's got one.what's yours?

*You don't marry someone you can live with - you marry the person who you cannot live without.

*Better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.

*Well done is better than well said.

*"r u pondering wat im pondering?" "i think so, brain, but how r we going to find a pair of pants big enough to fit on a cow." - pinky and the brain

*the difference between a 1 dollar ball and a 3 dollar ball is 2 dollars. - leslie neilson in bad golf made easier

*never pick up a lost ball while its still roling. - leslie neilson in bad golf made easier

*me fail english? thats unpossible!-todd from the simpsons

*there are 3 key movements in golf:keep your head down, keep your stupid head down, keep your damn stupid head down. - leslie neilson in bad golf made easier

*i believe you have my stapler-office space

*That which does not kill us will only make us stronger.

*You Never Fail Until YOU STOP TRYING!

*girls are like parking spaces,all the good ones are taken,and all the rest are handicapped!!!

*im gonna get out of this place alive, even if it kills me. -homer simpson

*The one constant through all the years has been baseball. America has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. Its been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt, and erased again. But, baseball has marked the time. This field, this game, is a part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good, and could be again. -Field of Dreams

*Why go to high school when u can go to school high?

*i can only please one person a day. today isnt your day. tomorrow isnt looking good either.

*i used to be indecisive but now im not so sure.

*sex ix evil,evil is sin,sins r forgiven ,so stick it in

*dont go to parties with metal detectors, sure it feels safe inside, but what about all those niggas waitin outside with guns they no u aint got one. - chris rock

*if a woman tells you shes 20, and looks 16, shes 12;if she tells you shes 26 and looks 26. shes damn near 40. - chris rock

*you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

*Just remember... if the world didnt suck, we'd all fall off.

*the 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong

*remember if sum1 annoys u it takes 42 muscles 2 frown but 4 to slap tha motherfucker up side tha head

*Party Hard, Rock N' Roll. Drink Bacardi, Smoke a bowl, Life is Great, Sex is Free..We're The Class of 2003!"

*that veronica vaughn is one piece of aiss. trust me bud, i know from experience. no you dont. well, not me personally, but some guy i know. him and her got it on! no they didnt! no, no, they didnt, but u could imagine wat it would be like if they did.
- adam sandler and chris farley(in billy madison)

*ooooooo...so ur gonna try your best, losers always whine about their best,winners go home and fuck the prom queen.
-sean connery (in the rock)

*its my duty to please that booty.
-samuel L. jackson (in shaft)

*Join the Army: Visit exotic places, meet interesting people and then kill them

*its like speed 2 only with a bus instead of a boat-simpsons

*If Barbie is so popular then why do you have to buy her friends??

*Never Underestimate The Power Of Stupid People In Large Groups

*want to make your computer go really fast? throw it out a window.

*sir night i just pissed my pants and theres nothin ne one can do about it - dances with wolves

*We must all be alike. Not everyone born free and equal, as the constitution says, but everyone made equal A book is a loaded gun in the house next door. Burn it. Take the shot from the weapon. Breach man's mind.- ray bradbury's novel fahrenheit 451

*And we were poor too. Why if I wasn't born a boy, I'd have had nothing to play with. - rodney dangerfield

*what is a boner? - doctor koven A.K.A. special K

*bring me your finest meats and cheeses - sportscenter

*i am amused by the simplicity of this game - sportscenter

*hes gonna need a chiropractor cuz hes carryin his whole team on his back - sportscenter

*sometimes its black, sometimes its white. sometimes shes wrong, sometimes im right - LFO

*Perhaps one of the most interesting words in the English language today is the word fuck. Out of all of the English words that begin with the letter F, fuck is the only word that is referred to as the F word". Its the one magical word. Just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, hate, and love. Fuck, as most words in the English language is derived from German, the word flicken, which means to strike. In English, fuck falls into many grammatical categories. As a transitive verb, for instance, John fucked Shirley. As an intransitive verb, Shirley fucks . Its meaning is not always sexual. It can be used as an adjective, such as, Johns doing all the fucking work, as part of an adverb, Shirley talks too fucking much, as an adverb enhancing an adjective, Shirley is fucking beautiful, as a noun, I dont give a fuck, as part of a word, abso-fuckin-lutely or in-fuckin-credible, and as almost every word in a sentence, fuck the fucking fuckers. As you must realize there arent too many words with the versatility of fuck as in these examples describing situations such as fraud, I got fucked at the used car lot, dismay, aw fuck it, trouble, I guess Im really fucked now, aggression, dont fuck with me buddy, difficulty, I dont understand this fucking question, inquiry, who the fuck was that?, dissatisfaction, I dont like what the fuck is going on here, incompetence, hes a fuck off, dismissal, why dont you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself. Im sure you can think of many more examples. With all of these multi-purpose applications how can any one be offended when you use the word. We say use this unique, flexible word more often in your daily speech. It will identify the quality of your character immediately. Say it loudly and proudly, FUCK YOU!
-Monty Python